Thursday, June 25, 2009

Let's pack it up and put it away, on a secret shelf called 'your memory'

I'm so tired.

Woke up at 8:25am and was out of the house by nine. Walked to Tims then off to work. Long day, but wasn't that bad. I was off at five but I stayed for an hour and talked. Rumour has it that I'm having an affair with one of my managers. Ha. Too bad he's more of a mentor and father figure.

[Side note, Michael Jackson died today]

Around six I went to Walmart then walked home. My feet are so sore still. Stood for eight hours plus a two hour walk. Definitely hoping to give my feet a rest this weekend. Too bad I work Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday.

I can't even write anymore. I feel so emotionally tired.

I despise when people don't care. Heartless truly lives up to her name sometimes.

She wants something from me. She's been talking about it for days. I think it's dumb, and I'm not too comfortable with it going into public. So while talking about it right now she flips out and says, "Whatever, I'm over it. Do whatever the hell you want to do. I don't care."

She knows I hate it when she says that. My twisted mind takes the last three words and applies it to everything. Our relationship, me.

This took us to a huge fight in which I said, "How about this...I'm over you. It's so easy for you to be over things, and god forbid I ever have to hear you say that about me. So lets just drop this before I have the misfortune of having to hear that."

We go on arguing back and forth until she decides she has more important things to deal with, and since I'm over her, we might as well stop talking altogether.

A part of me is kind of hoping it actually is over. I've grown so dependent on her and I hate it. Yet a bigger part is deathly afraid of being without her. It'll end up like it did with her. That's how much Heartless means to me.

Worse part? I won't be able to sleep tonight because I've made the habit of saying goodnight before falling asleep. Joy. If I don't hear an I love you I can't sleep. What exactly has the world come to??

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