Tuesday, June 23, 2009

We blew out the candle && let us die

Ok, my "girl" will be called Heartless because that's definitely what she is.

We got into a fight a day or two ago, which isn't anything new for us. However!! This time we didn't technically make up. As I mentioned earlier she didn't wake me up. I went to work and had a fun day. Saw the hottest girl ever, and got asked out by a man named Ronaldo. I didn't think of her much, and I was determined not to let our fight ruin my day like I usually do.

I went on a walk with Homer, and it was the funnest and most carefree thing I've done in a while. Near the end of our three hour walk, Heartless texted. I kept replying with one word answers, and then she picked me up from Tims.

The second I got in the car I felt different. Usually I'd ruffle her hair and say, "Hi loveee," but this time I handed her the iced cap and said, "thanks for picking me up." We got to my house and for the first time she didn't make a big deal about having to be home.

She kept talking. About pointless things. I was afraid to say too much incase I came off as too "overwhelming."

Finally after half an hour she checked the time and told me to text her. I replied with, "Oh. and say what?"

She went cold again, and replied with something she knows I hate.

"Do whatever you want. I don't care."

I threw my full iced cap on my lawn and slammed the door.

I love her. Like crazy. But I don't have the energy for this. I can't put myself out there constantly and have to second guess everything. It's exhausting.

Oh dear lord. Mom just came and told me to register for all my grant mac/uni classes so we can apply for loans. Jesus. How do I tell her that I might need to do center high and upgrade??? In fact...How do I know if I`ll need to do that?? Crap I hate not knowing for sure.


~A-Lo~ said...

Holy shit, I forgot my name was Homer LOL...I was like "she went with a walk with me AND with some Homer, when??"

Nostalgic said...


I need to reread and remember all the names. I'm pretty sure I named someone Heartless already LOL