Without you, I'm nothing

In most of my posts I talk about a "close friend." I'm going to name her Homer because she reminds me of him. ;)

Well, today she treated me to an Oilers game. My first this season. Although we lost, I still had a blast. I expected that though, because whenever me and Homer are together, we end up laughing and having the best time ever. She truly is the best. =)

Apart from the game, today was by far the best day in a very long time. I don't think I've enjoyed myself this much in a while.

I suppose it's true what they say, "There's always a light at the end of the tunnel."

Since I'm feeling a bit mushy today, I can say that Homer is my light. I have no idea how I'd get through any of this without her. (Damn am I glad I thought of a name for her, I've wanted to say that for so long LOL).

Anyway, after such a long and awesome night, I'm going to head off to bed.

-A

Fact: We all climb our way up in heels, no matter who we have to tread on to do it.

Awesome day today.

I loved it.

Repetitive History

I feel like shit. I absolutely despise when people automatically assume stuff about me. I've changed, or so I'd like to belief. I won't purposely get people in shit from my other friends. Nor will I hate my last name because of some guy. I have my own opinions and morals.

And lastly, I don't involve friends on purpose. They get involved on their own.

Dear Lord. So tired of this. I think I'm going to screw studying and just go to bed. No point in even trying.

The Kite Runner

There was a book discussion on the Kite Runner at HQ khane. Since I couldn't make it, I decided to post my opinion on the book.

It was a beautifully told novel. I believe it touched many people's hearts because a lot of its themes could be related to the average person.
I'll touch upon a few of those themes.

Firstly, guilt played a huge part in the novel. The main character,Amir, was a boy who was guilty of many things. The main thing that plagued his heart was the events he witnessed his childhood friend, Hassan, go through. Rape and betrayal were two of the many things that Hassan endured. The worst betrayal was from Amir.

This type of guilt plagues a lot of us. We are usually found abandoning a friend in times of need. In order to save ourselves, we ruin other people. Years later, we remember those we left, and often find ourselves wondering how their lives turned out. 9/10 times, we ourselves lead perfect lives. We have little to worry about, compared to the dreadful lives of others.

The second theme in this novel was of friendship. We often find ourselves giving up everything for a friend. This is was Hassan did. He was loyal to Amir through everything. When Amir hurt Hassan in the worst possible way, Hassan still kept his mouth and heart shut. He loved Amir no matter what.

A lot of us crave for love like that. And when we have it, we take advantage of it, just like Amir did.

The third theme was one of a father/son relationship. Amir craved for his father's approval, much like we do with certain people. Although Amir and his father were always together, they didn't have the sort of bond that either wanted. They both expected different things from one another, and often blamed themselves for the other's shortcomings.

And finally, redemption. Late in the book, Amir did his best to right his past wrongs. Taking Hassan's son, Sohrab, under his wing, he learned to love the boy like he couldn't with Hassan. Amir learned from his past mistakes and had a second chance with Sohrab.

Redemption touched every one's heart the most. We all want a second chance to right our wrongs. To see or read about a happy ending gives us hope for our own lives, and after all, that is why many of us love books, right? It's an escape from reality. However, this book wasn't a real escape from reality. It was an escape from our reality, and into someone else's.

Dear Reader

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Math Exam=Tomorrow

So far I've studied for an hour and 20min. Planning on doing more later on tonight. I'll need all the luck I can get.

You're a nobody Until you're talked about

Overall a fabulous day.

Woke up a bit too early, tummy was still hurting. Ended up going to timmys (they need to be a bit faster). I've had a headache all day. I honestly have no idea what's wrong with my head. For the past few weeks, I get sudden episodes of throbbing pain. It's usually on the right side of my forehead. But lately it's been moving to the left side.

Hopefully it's a brain tumor. ;)
I have ALWAYS wanted to be really sick. The you-need-to-be-in-the-hospital kind of sick. LOL.

P.S. That ass keeps talking about me!

A little luck For the unlucky

I was in the bathroom when I looked on the floor and saw a $20 bill. I examined it, thinking it was a figment of my imagination. Halleluyah! I'm $20 richer. Just when I was broke as hell.

I bet it was my money though. Since only my aunt and I use that bathroom. LOL

I won't cry Wolf

Weak and tired.

Like I wrote in my last post, I woke up with terrible cramps. I went to work, and was in so much pain. I could barely move or talk. I was weak and almost fainted. Thankfully, I was allowed to go home at 330. Went to bed at 3:40 and woke up at 6. It still hurts, but a bit bearable.

All I want to do is eat and go back to bed, but mother hasn't even started cooking. She said it'll take about an hour and half. Argh.

Overall, I had a pretty good day. Surprisingly, I'm actually looking foward to tomorrow.

...

Killer cramps + work = worst day.

Cinderella stepping onto a pumpkin instead of her carriage

I want to be able to have a bad day and have someone there at the end.

I don't mind being there for people, but sometimes, I'd like to be selfish and have a me day. I know it sounds wrong. It feels like I'm trying to stop others from having the right to bad days.

I guess you could say I'm pretty messed up.

Let's catch up. Take our clothes off. Stare at each other.

A great appetite...For destruction

What a long day.

Woke up at 9, because mother said we're going for breakfast. Turns out that she was gone at 8:30. I was pissed off. I called her, bitched, and hung up without listening to her side. Made me feel better.

Went to work at 11:50. Got picked up at 8, and dropped my grandma home. My mom said me and her were going out somewhere. Ended up going to her friend's house, whose neice was over (absolutely detest her). Anyway, we played cards for 2 hours and now I'm finally home.

I'm exhausted, frsutrated, and extremely bitchy.

Work was ... odd. All of the girls who work there are either extremely skinny or average. None can be considered anything remotely close to "fat."

Well, this one girl, S, states that she's on a diet because her parents want her to be. She said that they call her fat and ugly. Other workers heard it-men and women-and commented on how they need to go on diets as well. A few even said that since the diets don't work, they want to try other methods.

I spent 15min with each person. Eventually, a few agreed that their weight is fine. That still didn't satisfy me though.

What exactly is it with people and their looks? Does it honestly matter that much?

Speaking of...there's a guy at work who gets picked on a lot. He talks to everyone, but a few times in a conversation, people end up teasing him. You can see his face fall every time. As self defense, he tries to talk back. It never works. However, he usually comes back and apologizes.

Today, he came up to a few of us girls and said "Hey, I'm sorry for everything I said today." I gave him a weird look and asked why he was apologizing. "Because I don't want to seem like a jerk." I reminded him that people treat him worse than he treats them. He looked at me, then shrugged. I told him to be more confident in himself and never to apologize for things he meant, because people will only treat you the way you treat yourself.

Are body image and the want to please others really that important? Why can't we focus on what's really important: pleasing ourselves.

In order to please others, you yourself need to be happy. Your weight and looks are just like money. One day you have it, the next you don't.

I personally would rather be chubby. It's a sign of being healthy. It's a way of showing the world that you don't need to have the "ideal" look to fit in. Infact, what exactly is the ideal look? We all want to be something we're not. So, if none of us are happy with our looks, who exactly do we want to be like? Pictures that are photo-shopped? None of that is real. Even those who actualy do look like that aren't satisfied.

We are all afraid. Afraid of not meeting certain criterias. Not getting into university, not getting a good job, being alone all our lives, afraid of not fitting in, and of looking different.

What happened to being unique? What happened to learning that every individual in this world is different? We all have different genes and DNAs, so how exactly can we look "perfect." We live with what we have. And love it.

Speak of the Devil and he doth appear

I'm so frustrated right now. I just want to punch something. Hurt it. Take my anger out. It'll probably be best if I went to bed.

I had a bottle of water. It woke me up. It seems that every Friday night I become really frustrated and angry for no reason. A bit odd.

The faster you rise, The harder you fall

So tired. Just came back from khane. Apparently it was post-sec day and there was food. A friend and I ended up sitting and eating. At the same time, we made up "stories" about my little cousins and a cute little boy. (Yes we were bored, but highly amused).

All I want to do right now is go to bed. I have no idea why I'm feeling a bit down. I shouldn't be. Especially after the awesome day I had. Maybe the high of today is finally fading.

Well, I've officially spent all my money. I have maybe $10 left. And I need to save that for lunch next week. Gord! Can't wait until Friday. I really need to fix up or make a new resume so I can give it to someone I know. He said he'll get me a job at the call-center. Better pay and hours than here.

My drowsiness might have something to do with dehydration. I've barely been drinking water.

I realy don't want to go to work tomorrow. 8 hours of hell. I hope I'm not working on Sunday. But at the same time, I hope I am. I really do need the money. Argh.

Maybe I'll head to bed. Or drink some water to wake me up. =)

Can you say: Hypocrite

I love how hypocritic people can be. (Is that even a word?)

Usually when you're arguing online, one person says "Stop replying to me." However, why is that they never do the same? Why can't it be them who stops replying? If they don't want to talk, no one's forcing them to.

Pathetic.

An eye for a lie

Another good day.

Went to school smiling, came back grinning. LOl
Lunch was spent at the library studying for a chem exam. I think I did alright. I'm sure I did way better on my math exam though.

As for the psych project I was getting excited about, well, I didn't get to present because my group members didn't show up. If I had done it by myself, I would've had less time to present. Considering how long my presentation is, I decided to wait until Tuesday.

On a brighter note: My status on Facebook is: Alishah thinks its pretty pathetic how you're trying to make me jealous. H commented on my wall calling me pathetic and I immediately called her on it. If she assumes, it's got to mean that she actually was doing it.

I adore people. They're too funny.

As for me "strutting my stuff," I did something better. I talked to all her friends, causing the attention to move from her to moi. Oh, the joys of being a bitch in training. LOL.

Even if it's just for a while, You make me smile

I can't believe how happy I am. I'm still a bit awed by that.

Well, I finally finished my psychology project. I'm actually quite proud of it. I hope it turns out OK. I was partnered with 2 other people, and as usual I ended up doing the whole thing on my own. For some reason, I can never trust other people with projects. This way, if I do badly, I have no one to blame but myself.

It took me approx 2 hours to complete. Now...If only I had brought home my chemistry and math books home. I have unit exams in both subjects tomorrow. Oops.

Did I mention I bought a beautiful red robe yesterday? I've had my eye on it for a while, and being extremely blah yesterday, I decided to treat myself. It is so soft and cuddly. And long. Just the way I wanted it. Plus. It matches with my slippers. And my nails (both finger and toe) LOL.

Prohibition never stood a chance against Exhibition

Overall it was quite a good day.

Got to school and had the urge to do my psych proj. So off I went to the library. Well, I did a lot of my proj, but I also ended up blogging. (I don't think I can ever get tired of that LOL).

First period went by pretty smoothly. I spent the whole class immersed in my magazine.
Second period however was when I started getting a headache. (Bet you all know what's coming up). I took a half a pill. 5minutes later, I took the other half. 20min later, I took a second pill. 10 minutes I took a third pill. 5minutes before class ended, I took my forth and last pill of the day.

Know what's scarier? I don't know what those pills were. Whatever it was, it made me shaky and a bit tired. (Even though it said non drowsy).

Well, 3rd period, as was my plan, I skipped with a friend. I called my mom at lunch but I guess she was busy. I left a message telling her that I needed a break. I called back when 3rd period was over and this time she picked up. She sounded a bit disappointed, but I guess this time she understood. Especially given that she knows everything that's going on.

In regards to that, today I decided to be a complete bitch to H. When I saw her in the hallways, I would roll my eyes in front of her. I flirted with one of her best guy friends. And basically strutted my shit. (Might I mention I got checked out quite a few times today....Oh dear. Here comes my ego LOL).

Well, it worked. Last time I saw her, she looked pissed. =D And what's even better is that I felt good about it. Guess sometimes it's good to use your ego.

There's a weak link in every chain

...And it's just a matter of time before this one snaps.

The day has offically begun and I can't stop thinking about what'll happen today. I know for a fact that I'll be in shit when I get home, if I do decide to skip. (Which I'll have since I never finished my project.) I could always wing it, but I rather not. I'm sure I'll get too emotional.

I got a ride from mom this morning and the whole way through I was silently praying that she would say something. I really wanted to hear something encouraging today. Anything actually. My day started off with silence, I hope it doesn't stay that way. I don't think I could handle another day of this.