I absolutely hate sexist people. My family is the most sexist family ever!!
Apparently I can't watch hockey anymore because its a "guy" sport and girls aren't supposed to watch it-only guys are.
I guess Karim is gay, since he doesn't watch it.
Fackk! I have the fuckiest relatives! I hate them with a passion.
That brings me to my next point:
How do you know if you actuay love your family. They are the people you've been around since you were born, but how does it turn into love? What if its only an attachment to those people? Being around them all day, perhaps its become a habit of some sort. And when one of those people leave, we cry and get depressed because something from our daily lives changes.
I know from personal experience that whenever I say "I love you" to anyone in my family, I don't feel anything. Is it just me? Am I just that selfish that I don't even love my own family?
But then again, what is love? Does anyone really know? Is it just a feeling of deep affection for someone? or something someone made up to make it seem like us humans aren't as bad as we seem?
I hate this. Its bugging me so much.

I wish I could talk to her about it...about anything. I miss her so much.
Perhaps that's what love is. Missing someone so bad that all you want to do is curl up and cry forever. But I don't think that's love either. Because if it were love, then it would be strong enough that the other person wouldn't leave.
Everyone leaves...eventually.
Whether that be a day, or a week, or a year...they do leave.
In my opinion, its easier if a person dies. At least they have a reason to not be there. And it won't hurt as much. Because you could make yourself believe that if they were alive they would be with you.

stressfulll muchh??

I've come to the conclusion that hockey is VERY STRESSFUL!
When I have 8 cups of coffee....that's when you know something is VERY wrong! Damn!
I love the game...but frick!...I hate o/t and s/o.
Oh! Btw, for those of you who don't pay attention to hockey, the Oilers won 4-3 against the Red Wings in a shootout! Awesome game!!

I shall start updating on Oiler games hee as well. Already doing it on my nex blog. LOL.

Anyway, I'm extremely tired.

Love ya all,

MEEEEE!!!

gyhghjg

It's ironic how the things you've left behind still come back to haunt you.

I keep stressing about my marks. They are so fucking low! Goddamnit!
67% in English
70% in Social
76% in Science
92% in Math
It's practically killing me inside. I haven't gotten lower than 75 since grade 2. I know all my stuff, but when it comes to doing my homework or studying, I see the computer, or the TV, and just succumb to one of them. I hate it so much!
So, I got one of my friend's to change my nex password and not tell me until the end of November.
I'm going to try living my life with just msn. If that doesn't work, then I'll get my password changed for msn as well. I really need to get my marks up. Now, I just need to work with my TV schedule. Damnnn!! As if the computer thing wasn't hard enough.

Alright so:
Monday: 2 brown shows=1hour
Tuesday: Gilmore Girls only=1hour
Wednesday: One tree Hill and 1 brown show=1hour 30min
Thursday: The O.C. only=1hour
(If hockey game, then watch only game...download show on weekend)
Total hours per week: 4hours 30min

Hahaha!! I love making up schedules and shit that I know I'll never follow. Meh! At least it makes me feel organized and shit.
LOL

The whole day today I've been humming the Trojon Condomn commercial theme. dayummm! It's so addicting. =[

frickin IB

Piece of advice to you all: Do Not Take IB!
It sucks! The teachers expect you to be brilliant. Asking questions will usually get you the "you-are-stupid" look.
Not to mention that the Math Portfolios suck! They barely teach it to you. The questions are bullshitty and I hate it!
fackkk

kk...gots to go back to the game. Even though we're losing by 2. 2-0.
dayummm we suck

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T!!!

Edmonton Oilers coach Craig MacTavish was fined $10,000 US Saturday by
the NHL for criticizing referee Mick McGeough for a blown call in the Oilers'
3-2 home loss to the Dallas Stars on Friday night.


"The NHL
acknowledges the fact that referee Mick McGeough made the wrong call on a play
late in the game, which he later admitted to the media following the game,"
director of hockey operations Colin Campbell said in a release.
"While the
NHL regrets the missed call, Craig MacTavish's comments after the game regarding
the call were totally inappropriate and crossed the line."
McGeough waved off
what would have been a game-tying goal by the Oilers' Ales Hemsky with 4.1
seconds left. The referee blew his whistle just before Hemsky put the puck in
the net after deciding Edmonton centre Shawn Horcoff had made a glove pass off
the preceding faceoff. Replays, though, showed no such infraction.
Speaking
to reporters after the game, MacTavish lambasted McGeough for the call and for
delivering it in the referee's familiar animated fashion.
"It was a retarded
call," MacTavish snapped. "There is no other explanation for it. I know he is a
veteran official and at times I have found his antics humorous. But if this is
the product of that, there is a problem.
"It was a ridiculous call. I had no
idea what he had called. Nobody saw the hand pass on the play because quite
clearly there wasn't one. It's beyond reason.
"He should be
suspended."
McGeough's ruling also inflamed the Edmonton crowd, which
littered the ice with debris, some directed at the officiating crew as it headed
for its dressing room.

FACK!!!
"It was a retarded call."
What the hell did he say wrong? It's facking true!!! Shouldn't Magoo get fined? He lost us a game!! We definately would have won...but nooo...that fucking bastard..! I swear he had a thing against the Oilers! He called it right away...without even looking! OPEN YOUR FRICKIN EYES BASTARD!!
Whatever! I'm glad someone had the guts to badmouth the goo. That was the most fucked up game ever! First the refs don't call the first Dallas goal which should have been goalie interference! And they call the Edm goal which was not a glove pass!

"It was a blown call on my part," McGeough said after the game. "It was poor judgment on my part. I thought he had his hand on the puck on the faceoff but it was his stick. My judgment was poor on the play."

Poor judgement my ass!

Fuck!
Apparently I'm very rude, loud and bitchy. I don't know when to keep my mouth shut and to keep my comments to myself. BUT!...If anyone else does the same, it's fucking considered normal!
There are some bastards in the world you enjoy rubbing it in that if you take a J out of my name, it becomes their favorite word.

Holy mother of pearl!
I'm pms-ing like crazy! I've been crying since A supposed "friend" ofmine called me that fuckin name that I fucking hate! It reminds of me of that fucktard and his friend. I feel the same way I did whenthey ruined my birthday last year. I could honest to God kill one of them...or anyone!
I wish I never had a conscious. No wait...Its actually a good thing. Or else I'd be a muderer. I got the worst anger issues (if you couldn't already tell).




Fine! I admit it...
*sigh*
People are right. I am turning into the world's biggest bitch. And its not only because I have my rag. I say rude things to people's faces and behind their backs. I don't seem to care when people say shit to me. I just say shit back because that's what they expect me to do.
I'm losing them again. Alison too this time. Everyone was right before. There's something wrong with me. There are some who are telling me that I'm changing...becoming stronger, ect. But I'm not. I'm turning back into what I was for the past 2 years. As much as I try, I just can't seem to get over it. Something always reminds me of it.

Sometimes all I want to do is give up again. I've forgotten who I am. Or who I was. I'm holding onto events or people, but I can barely seem to remember what made them so special. I know I'm doing the wrong thing by not appreciating what I have. I do appreciate it, but I just can't seem to express it. I get scared because I haven't dont that much.

Fuck!
It sounds like I'm trying to explain why I'm turning into a bitch. I'm not trying to explain it. I'm just...I don't know what the hell I'm doing or what's going on!

I think I'm going crazy!