Fuck!
Apparently I'm very rude, loud and bitchy. I don't know when to keep my mouth shut and to keep my comments to myself. BUT!...If anyone else does the same, it's fucking considered normal!
There are some bastards in the world you enjoy rubbing it in that if you take a J out of my name, it becomes their favorite word.

Holy mother of pearl!
I'm pms-ing like crazy! I've been crying since A supposed "friend" ofmine called me that fuckin name that I fucking hate! It reminds of me of that fucktard and his friend. I feel the same way I did whenthey ruined my birthday last year. I could honest to God kill one of them...or anyone!
I wish I never had a conscious. No wait...Its actually a good thing. Or else I'd be a muderer. I got the worst anger issues (if you couldn't already tell).




Fine! I admit it...
*sigh*
People are right. I am turning into the world's biggest bitch. And its not only because I have my rag. I say rude things to people's faces and behind their backs. I don't seem to care when people say shit to me. I just say shit back because that's what they expect me to do.
I'm losing them again. Alison too this time. Everyone was right before. There's something wrong with me. There are some who are telling me that I'm changing...becoming stronger, ect. But I'm not. I'm turning back into what I was for the past 2 years. As much as I try, I just can't seem to get over it. Something always reminds me of it.

Sometimes all I want to do is give up again. I've forgotten who I am. Or who I was. I'm holding onto events or people, but I can barely seem to remember what made them so special. I know I'm doing the wrong thing by not appreciating what I have. I do appreciate it, but I just can't seem to express it. I get scared because I haven't dont that much.

Fuck!
It sounds like I'm trying to explain why I'm turning into a bitch. I'm not trying to explain it. I'm just...I don't know what the hell I'm doing or what's going on!

I think I'm going crazy!