Mesmerize Me

Wow. I haven't written in such a long time. I've been going through quite an emotional rollercoaster lately.
The bitchy-ness I've made my mother endure. Ignoring many of my friends. Not paying as much importance to the people who've always been there for me. And worst of all, talking to people who shouldn't be in my life.
Know what I want right now? I want a whole different life.

Big city. Fast-paced. Awesome job. Great guy. Restaurant dinners.
Does anyone else ever wish for that kind of life? The Grand Life. The one where everything is perfect, and the problems which do occur can be resolved within seconds by wonderful friends.

If not that, I want a great guy. And a best friend. I know I have best friends right now. But I want the best friend I had before. The one I took advantage of. I knew how important she was to me, yet I always believed that she would be there...forever. I need to get over the past and move on, but this is one thing I regret immensely and I know that there will always be a void in my heart and my life which can only be filled by her.

I want to dance. To laugh. To scream. To run. To jump. But most of all...I want to feel.