mhmm

Songs and smells will bring you back to a
moment in time more than anything else. It's amazing how much can be conjured
with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room. A song you didn't even
pay attention to at the time, a place that you didn't even know had a particular
smell....Someday being with him will be a distant memory. This fact makes me sad
too. It's like when someone dies, the initial stages of grief seem to be the
worst. But in some ways, it's sadder as time goes by and you consider how much
they've missed in your life. In the world.

Its scary when something you read or see is so similar to your own experiences.

blah

Today is a day I have waited all summer for. No work, no school, perfect weather. I've been in bed the whole day eating chocolates and reading books (something I haven't done in a while). I haven't thought of "anyone" or "anything," it's just been all about me today.

Well, so far I read three books. The one I'm reading right now-Something Borrowed-is awesome! One of the girls in it-Darcy-reminds me of this girl I know. We were besties for a long time, and she treated me..still does treat me the same way Darcy treats Rachel. I keep thinking of *her* throughtout the book. I suppose its because we're in somewhat of a fight. Or I just miss her and this is making all our memories come back.

Anyway...I would write more but mum is coming down. :


OK...I'm back to write more on this post. It kept bugging me cause it was so short and uncomplete.

So, today felt like a nice winter day. I've never missed winter before, but I do now. The clear, white snow covering everything. Christmas lights on trees and houses. People bundled up in scarves and furry coats. In downtown, it almost seems like something out of a movie or book. ACK! That sounded so sappy. I honestly need to stop with this!

You know what I'd really like right now?? To sit infront of my fireplace, pull the couch closer, cuddle up with a good book and another cup of coffee. Did I mention that I'm drinking my seventh cup right now?? *sigh* I really need to stop drinking coffee so much, I don't want to get addicted to it again. Especially since all coffee does is remind me of *that* and I don't want that.

Anyway, I shall go back to being a lazy bum. I'll make sure to write in my blog more often. I barely do anymore and I miss writing in it.



btw...some "friend" just told me that some asshole has been reading my blog. FUCK!!! If you know who you are...please don't read my blog anymore!! Or I might need to change my site and I really don't want to do that.

theresita jo ghand!

UGH!
How come Theresita can find a guy like a day after she gives up Ethan, but I can't find anyone????

Am Ijust weird...or ugly....or whaattt????

Friday...

Copied from my nex blog:

Alicia came to school on friday...
We followed Curly outside and then we decided to go to the mall. We purposely walked right where he was. He looked at me and was like "hiii" in a really high voice. I replied back with a "heeyy." He said "wasupp?" I said "not muchh and youu" And his final thing to say was "oh nothinngg." Curly's friend, laughed and said, "hey what about me? talk to me" Me and Alicia just walked away, since the guys were too busy laughing. However, all through mine and Curly's convo, Alicia was laughing her ass off! I hit her with my binder...(sorry Alicia!) So, me and Alicia walk to the mall and we see Curly and his friends walking there as well. Me and Alicia walk faster to get there before them so it doesn't seem like we're stalking them..LOl. We go inside Sportchek, turn back at the door and they are right behind us!! AAAHH!! lmfao! Alright, so we walk out of sportchek and they are a few feet behind us, but we could hear them speaking in Lebanese. We got to the food court and Alicia told me to walk to the ice cream place. I turn to go there and turn right back while saying "shiiit" because Curly and his friends were walking right infront of me. Alicia got pop and we walked to the ice cream place where he was standing. As usual, me and Alicia started laughing like idiots. We stood near the bench and they walked past us and stood near the railings. They started walking away and we followed. LOL.Then...going into sportchek, we backed out and took another door so it wouldn't seem like we were stalking them. Outside, we ran until we got near them and then started laughing. After losing 10 calories (LMAO Alicia, Pawan & Parveen), we finally decided to go to the bus stop to wait for my bus. We saw them walking, towards it, we laugh again all the way to the bus stop. The guys turn around, and..OMFG!...its not the right guys!!

lmfao!!

yeee....we suck at stalking people!!

War in the Middle East

Peace has lost its meaning. The word that once meant talking things out and not using violence now means the opposite. People are now using that word in ways that could never be imaginable. When asked why a country is bombing another country, the reply is usually, "We are trying to bring peace."

Peace doesn't come from using violence, or killing innocent peple just to get something you want. Peace comes from communicating and comming to an agreement.

The war in the Middle East is realy upsetting me. Killing innocent people for religious reasons is nowhere near reasonable. Isrealians are being selfish! They are envoking hatred in people-Lebanese and Isrealians both. Young children as well as older people have strong hatred for the opposite side. "I'm going to kill them" or "I'm joining the army to show them how it feels!" are some of the things people are saying. People-young kids who shouldn't have to see wars or feel hatred are being affected by this war. Families are being torn apart and friends are dying.
People outside of Lebanon are worrying day and night, wondering if their families and friends in Lebanon are alive and alright. There isn't anything they can do but wait. Is that fair? Is it fair for the mothers, the children, the aunts and uncles, and grandparents to sit by and wait while their loved ones are in trouble?

Do these people not realize that what they are doing will not get them anywhere? It will only cause more abhorrence. Pretty soon Lebanon is going to attack back. Other countries will most likely get involved. And then what happens?? Another world war? All we would be doing is moving backwards.

After all these advancements we have made in our society, we are going to start a war and do the same thing previous generations have done. Why can't we change our ways? We need to learn from the past.

As for the U.S. evacuating Americans only, I don't think it is sensible. Why only Americans?? Why not some Lebanese people who are in danger? UGH! We come back to the same thing don't we?...Politics!



*sigh*

Passions/Love

Passions was so sad today. It made me feel all empty. this is what Theresa said to Ethan:

"for 7 years i've held onto this hope that we'll get back together. that maybe u'll realize that i'm the one ur supposed to be with. i believed in fate. thought that perhaps one day it will bring us back together. but i was wrong ethan. it wont. do you remember that day on the beach. that..that night where we..ethan i hold onto that night. every time something goes wrong i remember it and try to capture that feeling i had when i was in your arms. i've tried so much to feel that way again but i cant. its always an arms length away. fate, hope, dreams. those are only words. i used to hold such a strong belief on them. everyone used to tell me that its not real and i wouldnt believe them. but you were right ethan. they are just words. i built a fantasy house. a warm, inviting house based on love, fate, dreams and belief. i thought that one day you would come home. but i now know that you wont. once the sun comes up and shines thru that house, it vanishes and all thats left is reality. i'm giving up on us ethan."

OMFG

how sad is that?!?!!?

ugh! I hate this thing called "love." I've given up on it. All it brings is heartache. Its not only on tv. In real life as well. How many couples do you know who have survived more than 50 years and still have that fire, the passion in their lives? Barely any right. Most couples fight regularly, or one of them has to agree with the other just to stop the fighting. Many couples aren't truly happy. That happily-ever-after doesn't exist, and that's what most girls want.

*sigh*

I hate love. Its stupid. I was stupid enough to fall for it five years ago. And i'm still paying for my mistake.

:

SEX

A three letter word-SEX.
This word used to mean something sacramental, something that was special. Previous generations didn't speak of it in every day conversations. They would blush when that word appeared in conversations, if it did.
A few years later, in todays generation, sex is a term used by everyone. It is thrown around in random conversations, in jokes, and every day topics. No longer is sex what it was previously-something to cherish.

I'm not trying to say that those who have sex are whores. No, I just want people to know who they are sharing this experience with, why, and if that person is worth it. Make sure your partner is tested for sexual diseases and that you use protection. Please please please don't take this lightly. Whether you are a guy or girl, it can affect you tremendously. If you love that person, know him/her for a while, trust them, and have talked about it and if its safe and right for you, then it should be all right. But, if you are forced into it, if you think that by having sex you will suddenly become "popular" or gain that person's love, then you are mistaken. Sex won't bring you any sort of happiness if you aren't ready for it. When you are, you will know.

Another issue which relates into this is the internet.
The internet is something which we all rely on and take for granted. Yet, like all techology, the internet has its downs as well. Not everyone on the internet is safe and who they say they are. Not everyone is bad, but please be careful who you talk to. And, be safe...DO NOT go meet someone you meet on the internet. We've all learnt about this, let's follow it.


Anyways, enough of my lecture. I'm just really upset. some friend of mine got into a mess and its really bugging me. I hope she's going to be alright.

horoscope

My horoscope:

July 7, 2006
You are at an emotionally climactic time of month
and you will find that your feelings are erratic and perhaps a bit unmanageable,
Alishah. Don't feel pressured into making logical sense of anything. Your job is
to take a deep breath and relax. Remember that life is an exciting adventure
full of twists and turns. Erratic, roller coaster emotions are a reminder of
just that. Enjoy the ride.

No wonder I'm feeling this way! ugh

July 8, 2006
Finding
solutions to things will
not be hard, thanks to the detective-like persona
you are likely to adopt,
Alishah. You may feel like the real truth lies well
below the surface. At times
you are tempted to skip along the top of things
and move ahead without really
considering what is going on far below. Today
is a completely different story.
Turbulent feelings and intense emotions
from the depths of your soul are likely
to be the hot topics of concern.

Does anyone know what that meant?? Honestly, sometimes I don't understand horoscopes. I don't even know why I read them.

:/

This may sound evil but I need to confess something.

I've always wanted someone close to me to die. Onlybecause then i'd have a real reason to be sad...to feel the way I do. It doesn't feel right that I need someone's life to be gone forever just so I can...OH i don't know!! I'm evil! I ought to be the one to die! Look at me talking about wanting someone to leave this world just for my own selfish reasons.

missin them

I've been so emotional lately. More than usual. I'm thinking about those people more than I have in the last two months. Everything is reminding me of people I need to forget. What I really want-need-is my best friend. I miss her soo much. Three people who mean everything to me and whom I can't have. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair, but I know that the only reason I don't have them in my life now is because I screwed it up. There's no one else to blame. Still, for once, one day, I want to go back in time and feel..remember what it felt like to be carefree, happy, and myself. I'm losing myself right now. It's like I don't know where I am...or whom. I just want her back! Is it too much to ask for??
UGH! Of course it is! Its almost impossible to rebuild friendship like ours. Its barely working for me and A. When we talk, its nothing like it used to be. So much has changed. Seven months ago I wouldn't even have guessed that she would be gone from my life for forever. Jeez! I'm such a screw up.
I know this isn't the only thing bothering me. There's something else...something that's effecting me waayyy more than it should be. *sigh*
I guess I now know never to take anything or anyone for granted.

Anyone tired of Mr. B?

UGH! Is there no new news?? America is taking over our world. News nowadays is filled with things about America, the war, or new terrorists. Wouldn't the U.S. be considered a terrorist as well? Bearing in mind that the definition of a terrorist is not a muslim or brownie, but a person or group of people who bring fear to a place or person. Still, no idiot writes or talks about the negative aspects of "America." (Hopefully most of you know who i'm referring to when I say America or U.S). Are people afraid of what will happen or the response they will get if the U.S is "disgraced?" To me, speaking your mind is not a bad thing, especially since we are entitled to a right of free speech and/or opinion.
*sigh* I just hope all this crap will end soon. I've been extremely bitchy about all of this lately. I've stopped watching the news for 3 years now, still, whenever I pass by, the only thing I hear about is issues concerning the country with the president we all love. :rolleyes: No one talks about the more important matters in other parts of the world. And, if by any chance, news of these countries are told, America is surely mentioned. :err: