Fear...?

While talking to a friend about New Years plans, she said this: I think you have a fear of abandonment that resonates from the time of childhood- starting with the abandonment of your Father...throughout the years that fear has been re-enforced by the loss of friends...This fear of abandonment causes you to close yourself off from others, it causes you to judge others and assume the worst of most situations

It sounds true. But difficult to accept.
Trying to see the positives in any situation is hard-for any person. It's human instinct to always have a back-up plan and to take care of yourself no matter what. That's what I'm doing...right?
As for my father, I've heard that theory many times. Usually starts off with elderly people saying, "Those girls with no fathers, they're always looking for men to fill that void." Then they look at me and shake their heads. Hmph.

LOL. Father. I haven't written about him in months. Think about it every day though. Feels a bit...unfair. Siblings...a father..I wonder how it'd feel to grow up like that-with those people in my life. I guess this brings another fear in my life: growing up and having a family. I wouldn't know the first thing to do. Or what to expect. I guess that's why I resent my half-siblings so much-because they had what I didn't. A part of me hates them for stealing what was originally supposed to be mine.

A few people have recently told me that everything happens for a reason and when things get tough, just to give all my problems to God. But that makes me feel so guilty. Doesn't He have enough to worry about? I'm sure He does. I get along fine with Him just looking out for me occassionally. I ask for enough as it is. =)