Woke up with a bloody headache and with tears on my pillow. According to my mother I was crying the whole night. Go figure. Apparently I even have feelings while I'm asleep.

Worst part about it all...Monday I'm going to be alone. Even though I have school, most people I know are going to some court case. Joy. You would think that after all this time I'd be used to being alone. Guess not.

As for a certain person's comments, alcohol and pills do help. At least for a while. And while we're at it, so does physical pain. Oh and I'd prefer you didn't stick your nose into this and "try" to get me help. Like you always say, "I do everything on my own."

On a positive note, I just went upstairs and found a whole box full of chocolates that I absolutely love! Hope no one misses it. Cause I'm done half the box. Oops. So much for that "eating disorder" I was accused of having eh.

Yeah. I'm being sarcastic and probably going to regret all of this later, but after the crappy weekend I just had, I could care less. I think a part of me is dying to hurt a certain someone. It's just who I am. When things get hard, I hurt those who "care" because I know it'll affect them the most. I guess thats what I did with the last two.

I cannot wait until work is over tonight. I'm going home and going to sit on my ass until 9 watching Christmas movies. One of my favorite movies is on tonight: Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I used to adore that movie. Unfortunately, that movie now brings bad memories.

Funny how that is. I end up losing "friends" every year. I always used to think that my family was being mean when they said that I was a bad person that's why I kept losing people. But makes a person wonder. Could that be true? You don't see any other normal person lose people every year. Hmph. Just my luck.

I used to think that everything was for the best. That having those people in my life wouldn't do me any good. Boy was I wrong. Look where it got me. Nowhere. Same place I keep going to-hell.

Hahahaha. My horoscope for today:

December 16, 2007
It could be that you are feeling a strong sense of guilt at this time, Alishah, because of something you did in an effort to feed your own ego. Be aware of how your actions have affected others and apologize for what you have done. Guilt is basically a useless emotion that you should rid yourself of as quickly as possible. Don't let this feeling keep you from opening up your heart the way you need to in order to restore it to its original innocence.

Too funny.


P.S. So far: 5 people this year. (L)